Lost and Found

2006-11-14T07:45:00.000+08:00

I learnt that promise are meant to be broken after all. There is no such thing as a promise. Even with promise, things can change.

2006-11-02T10:18:00.000+08:00

i am under so much so much of stress. .i cant cope with everything..
all i want is you to say "dont worry, i'll wait for you to finish your work".Is that so hard to achieve.I dont want it either and i know you dont like it too. .

it is all for us. .

2006-10-29T21:21:00.000+08:00

I have just recovered from one of the worst fever for the past 10 years. It was one hell of an 'experience' i must say. Was still feeling quite unwell on saturday but thankfully i have got you coming down for to accompany me, watching DVD and stuff and of course, poking fun at my '18'years history of photos. Now that i recovered from the fever, i have got myself a bad tummy. . how good can things get for me. .

2006-10-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

13 more weeks to go..1 week of school passed just like that.pretty fast but i know the all lectures and no tutorials sum up to that.

things are so not right now
it has reached the lowest point ever between us
so much so that sometime it feel so fuck up
everything is unclear, unsecure and unsafe
and for all that, i ask myself how to save the sinking ship
do i go for the easiest and yet painful way out or i'll just follow my heart
without you,the voice inside my head is all that i have left
the bad feeling i felt during the holiday has been justified
i beg you to hang in there, cos i still have faith in us

2006-10-17T13:53:00.000+08:00

i fuckin hate my life now. .

2006-10-16T19:28:00.000+08:00

Earphones tucked neatly into my ears, body leaned against the pillar of the bus stop at 730am in the morning. A familiar sight isnt it?It just simply means one thing . . . the new school term. Its the same old fuckin story.Powerpt presentation plus scribbles aimlessly on the notes and the same old "i-am-going-to-give-you-hints-for-the-exam" face of the lecturer.I simply cant wait for this to end again . . yes. .i know it barely just started but who cares.
One thing, the fuckin haze is getting worse. My throat acting up again which is annoying. The thought of school annoys me, the haze annoys me, the thought of the coming projects and tests annoys me too. . everything annoys me.

you, being there , gives me strength

2006-10-15T13:23:00.000+08:00

there is something about this movie i dont like. It doesnt have a ending, which means that there may be a second episobe.

In the meantime, my all time fav senses fail new album "still searching" is out.
And school's starting tomorrow.. 16 weeks to the next holidays.gonna start counting down to it.

2006-10-10T12:18:00.000+08:00

Muscle aching like fuck, the occasional nausea feeling, the dry and sore throat and the fever. and i cant go out. I barely survive the trip to the doctor, this feeling that my legs were give way any moment.and the coldness i felt by you..

i am scared..

2006-09-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

i just glad to hear you promise me that you'll always be happy.

2006-09-12T21:07:00.000+08:00

well,its been quite awhile since i typed anything into this space here so i think i'll find some time to fill this shit up. anyway, life has been pretty normal for me but things have happened that leave me so helpless and so useless. i know i cant help you in this matter and all i can say is i'll be with you and i hope that is all that matters to you too.
althought you are 17, you still cry like a baby whenever things dont go your way and seeing you cry like that makes me wanna cry with you too.i know you are sad and so do i but you have to be strong to make decision that could change your life.and as i say, everything will be fine as long as you let me lift you up whenever you are down.
almost 8 months has passed since the first time, the first day.. its been quite awhile isnt it? we have been through so much and i hope you let me been through this together with me.

just to let you know
my dearest
the times i have with you is very special
to reach out and know you'll be there
that means the world to me
my heart is with you wherever you go
when you smile at me, i know it's from your heart
i know you'll do for me what no one else would
and if i dont tell you i love you as often as i should. .
it's because. .
i hope that deep down inside,
you know i do..

remember this?

i am so use to you with me every seconds of my life that somehow, a moment without you, i feel weird and not use to it.. thanx you for your love and your care that you showered upon me all these while,i appreciate it..really. Happy 8 months 'sticking like glue' together..
and. . . .and. . . hmmm. . i love u. somehow i know you wanna hear this.
and..i make fishball for you tomorrow, if you know what i mean x)

today, tomorrow and forever..

2006-09-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

i feel so wronged..

2006-09-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

Right now, i just want to concentrate on the present and not think about the future.

2006-08-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

you never fail to make me worry.
but i never regret choosing the path of getting more white hair..

2006-08-24T19:07:00.000+08:00

1 more to go. .

2006-08-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

i'm tired of all the studying. and i cant seem to get it for econ. It totally sux major but i'm definately looking forward to the holiday, that is the thing that keep me going and of course, you too.
Resolutions for the holiday:
1.A part time job.
2.More time for you.
3.More sleep and gaming.
Basically just enjoy the holiday..

Miss Clarity

2006-08-10T22:10:00.000+08:00

and yeah, we chance upon a shop call Miss Clarity at Purvis Road which is like damn cool man. The mood, the atmosphere are perfect, and the food is not bad. and yeah, it is cool as in, cool..ya.

National Day

2006-08-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

Today is national day ,singapore is now 41 years old. Why doesnt her birthday has any cake or something? Instead its got firework and its like candles without the cake. Ok..whatever, i dunno what i am talking about either.
And you know what, i didnt know your appetite is so big. And in case u got mistaken, it is not the food appetite i'm refering to but your appetite for your choice of new handphone.Fancy you suggesting to ur dad to get the Nokia N80 for you.And i bet he'll get the shock of his life when he know how much that cost. I do hope you'll get that, cause it means i get to play with it too, so cool la.x) as i say your thing is also mine,right anot?and if he didnt get you a new phone, its alright cause i'm gonna work during the holiday to buy you one. Erm..probably a bit cheaper phone. ahaha.and congratulation to you for offically getting your arse out of CrossTalk and escaping from the clutches of the G factor. You'll no longer be tormented by her anymore and i bet you are happy. Nevermind about job, we gonna look for it together alright. with your experience (Raffles town club, International company, Mos burger, Cafe Cartel, Crosstalk and many more), i bet everyone will be fighting to hire dear miss leow jin jan. And even if we cant get any job, it will only be less money for us. Who cares right? as i say, even if we are going to be poor, we sill wanna be a happy poor fuck.

2006-08-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

And so, i wouldnt have to return to school till like next next saturday which is the date for my first paper. 4 papers to study for. . ok..very random, i know..

it is funny how love can either make you the happiest person alive or it can give you tremendous pain. .

2006-08-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

as long as i have you, and you are happy. anything else doesnt matter. .

2006-08-03T11:53:00.000+08:00

the semester is coming to an end but i wasnt as happy as i thought i will be. Maybe it is because i have not plan anything for the holiday. Or is it because i dont know what i can do during the holiday. 2 months of holiday, how am i going to spend it.
At home now staring at the 4 walls waiting for lunch to be delivered. Gaming doesnt interest me at this particular moment. Maybe it is because i am too used to you already and without you, i dunno what to do.I dunno why.i Have been staring at the screen of my laptop for the past few hours and i still have not figure out what i am gonna do. so bored.. bored to death. .and beside playing tic tac toe by myself or doing handstand against the wall, blogging is just another way to kill time. .ok, i know it is very random..

2006-08-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

i think that you have changed. . from the way you talk to me, the way u react to situation. dont ask me why cause i dont know either. I hate this, i really do hate this majorly. It is killing me or rather, it has killed me. .

maybe i am just thinking too much

2006-07-31T22:03:00.000+08:00

is it me or sometime you make me feel i am irritating.
it is just that sometime i tell you things, u either say 'whatever' or i didnt get any reply. It may be u didnt hear me or smth..
erm..nvm, i think it is just me thinking too much.

2006-07-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

yes..choices.i have not been the type to regret about the choices i make in my life. so do you regret about the choice u make?or do you regret it and dont wish to say.

i'm falling deeper and deeper every mins, every secs.. if what happened yesterday repeats itself.. its gonna get scary.

2006-07-29T23:19:00.000+08:00

i want a story ending between us. .

2006-07-27T21:35:00.000+08:00

i dislike myself for not being noisy enough for you. Today, the first time u told me about how you will be the one talking on and on, and all i did was to answer. You made me realise.
my feeling will always be the same. You know it and i know it but sometime, it hurts me so much that i cant bear the pain anymore. it hurts all the more to see you in pain.
i know i shouldnt be thinking what i am thinking now, i should not think that your life will be better without me, i should not think that someone else will make you happier than i did. i know i shouldnt..
i know you propably be upset if you saw what i wrote now but please, dont blame me.i always cant figure out why i have all the stupid thoughts. dont blame me cause at this moment in time, i am not strong, i will fall any moment.

i just want you is all i can say. .

2006-07-27T12:14:00.000+08:00

everything just seem so weird now.
sometime, things have just been too much for us to take.
everytime is the same old story, the tiny weeny things never fail to start a war.
i admit i stuggled between decision last night, my brain told me to let it go but my heart told me to hang in there. And beside the point, i know i will regret if i listen to the brain.
I seek not perfection but mutual understanding that we sometime lack.

i dont wanna give up. .

2006-07-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

vksdnvdsnvlnsdlvlsnvlsnvdslkv
vjdsvnsnvsovdsovjsidovjsdjvdsoj
nsdovdsivosovjsivjisdojvosdj

dont ask me what it means.. i am feeling very frustrated about everything right now. .seriously. .i dunno what to do anymore

2006-07-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

ECD test finished. It sux, i forget basically everything, my mind was like totally blank out when i entered the exam hall but nevermind about that. Just glad it is over already AND I&E was over too. Had the presentation on thursday which went on quite smoothly.
Was at East coast park a couple of hours ago. Did nothing much there, just relaxing and chilling by the seashore. Had 'Dimsum' at Geylang before we headed home. All in all, its a nice day and i love u baby.Majorly. .

2006-07-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

things to do this week..

ECD test
I&E presentation
Business report
AAA test(can heck care)

just a reminder for myself. .

2006-07-14T23:41:00.000+08:00

its been 6 months..

and many more to come..

2006-07-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

I am sorry for everything that happen. I know i betrayed your trust and i know you no longer can trust me 100% like before but i am willing to slowly earn it back.

2006-07-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

the wound on the hand doesnt hurt, but the wound at my heart hurts badly. .
I long so much for everything to be perfect but things always go against my way.
Why are there so many barriers to overcome.Sometime things just happen that is not within my control. I really cant help it and i dont want it to happen either.
Just now on the bus, i mean everything i said to you. I really mean it. Everything will be alright if you just stay with me and go through everything with me. Cause ,i love you..

2006-07-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

2 more weeks and all the projects and assigments will be over. Come soon will be the holiday but, before that there is the end of semester examination. Now just bear with it until end of next week.

happy ever after. .

2006-07-03T10:51:00.000+08:00

you'll get discharge today. and i really am happy for you.
but on top of that, will everything changes after this?

2006-07-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

2nd day. .

it still doesnt look any better. .
just hope you'll get well soon and we'll go out as usual and have fun fooling around. .
they still havent find out what is wrong. . and i havent see the doc face for the whole day when i am there. . wth are they doing man. .
as usual, everywhere you go there will always be food and snacks so this time round, even though you are in extreme pain, you still can crave for the 'this and that'.

i really wish you can recover like really soon. . cause it really hurts me to see you in pain. .

if i can share your pain. .

2006-06-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

i cant bear to see you like this.
I am at home and you are in the hospital now, no words can describe how i feel. I told you to see a doc yesterday but u dinch listen. Now it really is major pain. Whatever tumour or clot inside you, pls ..disppear.
I seriously hate to see you sick. Everytime you are sick, you will not go to the doc just to save the money. You are an independent girl. I can never be like you, as strong as you. Seeing you in extreme pain and i cant do anything about it. .

pls..let everything be alright. .

2006-06-29T21:21:00.000+08:00

i seriously looking forward to the holiday. I cant stand a single day in school anymore. My tolerance for school is way down below what it used to. Shawna has given me or rather the whole group alot of problem.SHe keep emphasising on innovative and enterprising publicity strategy that i cant think of any except. What the hell is innovative ?and what is enterprising. The main purpose is to get everyone to take notice of our blog so i suggest email. . but she say email spamming not allowed.Whatever. .i only want a pass. .just hope she dont fail me.And i miss your presence so much. I didnt get enough of it. .

2006-06-27T17:31:00.000+08:00

i hate this feeling..

2006-06-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

tomorrow school starting..
2 weeks of holidays passed like 2 days to me..
but there is always the september holiday looking forward to x)

2006-06-25T00:23:00.000+08:00

Almost half a year has gone by.Been through so many things together be it big or small.
Every quarrels and fights make us stronger. Been to so many places together. .did so many stuffs together. .so many.
From the boylish you who pratice your karate kick on the tree to the girlish you who tried so hard to look good on every outings. I really appreciate that. I just want you to be yourself. The girl who wooed the crowd during gig performance, the girl who enjoy playing soccer as much as guys do, the girl who can talk about anything with me and the girl who is never afraid to show her attitude to anyone if she is pissed. This is you truly. I know whatever u do, is for me.I dont expect you to change for me cause i dont need any other prettyFucks or other beauty queens cause i only want you. I know i may not be the most gorgeous guy around,i may said things that hurt you unintentionally. Nevertheless, you should know that I love u so much but i just wanna say if. . at the end of the day, you decide to leave. . i still wish you to be happy all the time. .and whatever happens, i'm always there. .

2006-06-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

woke up early in the morning, went to creative warehouse sale . We went there without knowing what we are going to buy. There we were at the sales looking around, deciding what to get at the last mins. Saw the new creative zen V that was unveiled only today at the warehouse sale which means those who bought it today were the guinea pigs using the new products. We bought that in the end. It was small but it was quite cool. Spend 458 for both sets but was happy with it.
Conquered the muddy path under the MRT railway back to jurong east. Off to clementi for the movie "just my luck". It was alright, nothing special about that show. the show ended at 2plus. Went to chinatown after that.Dont ask me why we went there but just doing some cultural visit. Explore some parts of chinatown which i have never been to in my 18 years as a singaporean but hey, it was quite cool. Dinner at holland village before we called it a day.

i know i'll regret saying it although it is clearly not what i meant but sometimes, things that was said cant be taken back. .

2006-06-22T10:42:00.000+08:00

the mooooooddyyyy-ness caught up with me.
school re-opening next week but nevertheless, there is always the next holiday looking forward to.
Scary Movie wasnt as nice as i thought, the show was crap with corny jokes. It lasted for like an hr 15 mins though.

2006-06-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

it feels so good to see the smiles back on your face.

2006-06-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

5 months already. today we went to alot of places.First is queensway for some window shooping although we ended up empty handed leaving the place.Next we headed to Mustafa shopping centre cause i wanted to look at some Mp3 player but i couldnt find any there so we ended up looking at some 'foreign' goods they have there. We walked a thousand miles before we finally found the bus-stop which head back to marina shopping centre. Usual routine there before we headed to marina bay for steamboat. Steamboat was nice, i didnt know there are some many ways to cook an egg until u show me today. I am so glad i have you and i know the month has not been a pretty good one with all the quarrels but hang in there alright, we go through all the difficult times together.

2006-06-11T22:14:00.000+08:00

Feeling so fuck nowadays and i dont know why. Moodswing has resulted in my emotion rising up and down.Yes, it is holiday now but there are so many things left undone.
My life has not been going too well recently, but i am still hanging on to a glimmer of hope that everything will be settled soon.2 weeks of holiday are simply not enough for me..

2006-06-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

You left for a moment but in the end u came back to me.
I was misunderstood. Seriously misunderstood.
My intention was clearly for the good of you but you misinterpreted it otherwise.
Now i live in fear of history repeating itself in the future. I no longer feel secured.I no longer sure that you will be there for me always but i am willing to have faith in us. I need you so much .

2006-06-07T18:06:00.000+08:00

I cant believe it.I seriously cant believe it.For something like this,we changed from hot to cold.How nice can things get. The scar is hurting like before. It hurts so much.

i am just not worth all the things u done for me..i really dont deserve it..

2006-06-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

2 papers down, 2 to go and i can see the finishing line. Just when everyone was back home starting revising for thursday and friday's papers, i was in the cinema watching the Omen which was basically quite alright.
Econ paper today wasnt as hard as i thought but still i will be happy with a 60%.Regarding the general knowledge part, i was stunned to see the question simply because i have got the answer which was sent basically to everyone but being an ass, i believe it wont come out and it turned out the other way.
Friday is like so near yet so far and after that, all hell break loose man..

2006-06-05T00:39:00.000+08:00

i have never feel so hurt. It almost killed me just now.
it is time to take a look at myself, i am ashamed of myself..

2006-06-04T22:20:00.000+08:00

sometime, we are so damn close and happy as if nothing can bother us but sometime shit just happen and everything can be destroyed. The ups and downs feeling which i hated it so much just never seems to go away. Will there be a day when this feeling will completely destroy us. Lots of thought on my mind which i cant put it down to words.
So i have negelcted ur feelings,nice one. But did you in the first place even care about my feeling.
This feeling is unbearable and hard to describe.All i can do is pray that the bad days will be over soon ..

it has reach the stage where i am at a loss of what to do anymore..

2006-06-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

i know i lied to you and i know it takes time to heal the wound that i have inflicted on you. All i am trying to do is to prevent us from quarreling over something that isnt worth a bicker but instead, it backfires on me and make it worse. The worst ever in this 5 months. U called and screamed at me with things like "WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME?!!WHY?!I HATE U, I FUCKIN HATE U!" It hurts so much and till today, i am still feeling bad over it but i am glad we cleared everything up. Although everything is alright now, i am still feeling pissed at myself for hurting you so much, so much that you cried and screamed at me, telling me u HATE me but for what? for nothing wrong that i have done. The only wrong thing is i lied and i apologise sincerly. U have been hurt so many times by me that sometime i really wonder if your friend Taku is really right about me being not the one that can bring you happiness.
The first time it hurts so much is the night when he asked me to let you go. Go to Australia where you can further your studies and your talent in music(guitar) and i am this close to giving you up.
Next comes the part when i am bothered by you being in a band which i feel inferior in a certain way to you. And i know u disband your band because of me. Even a fool can tell that you did it all for me because it is always your interest, always something you are interested in but instead, u gave up fame to be together with a fool like me. After that just when we thought the worse is over, school started to drift us apart as my schedule clashes with your's and resulted in endless quarrels.
Our relationship is not an easy one, so many problems to begin with but we overcame all these problems and dont you think it shows something? I dont mind going through tough time with you cause all i want is to be there for you whenever you are down even if i am not feeling good. All i want at the end of the day is to see you being there for me..

it is true..whatever i said..

2006-06-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

i am always the reason why we are unhappy. It fuckin hurts so much now..

2006-05-28T18:56:00.000+08:00

this is us..

although u nv listen to me when i told u not to eat so much junk food..

and u have so little confidence in urself..

but the fact is u are so adorable..

and i always love u ..

2006-05-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

you never fail to make my day.Just the sight of you i forget all the worries and frustrations.
Had an enjoyable day today..
wanted to post photos but i was told not..

2006-05-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

So many things to do and so little time. Facing so many problems and yet all i can do is to face it alone cause i dont wish to have anymore quarrels and disputes and i guess the only solution is to face it alone. Let me carry all the weights and burden for i hope i'll be strong to withstand everything that comes in my way. I am feeling so dead..
Sometime, all i need is a shoulder for me to lean on, a hand to help me up when i am down but am i getting all this? I am not putting the blame on anyone cause i only have myself to blame for being so incapable of completing task. The workload is really draining me but can you even feel that? What you see is only the "cant-be-bothered" face but do u know i am actually feeling so worn out?No.
I really dont know how long i can last or rather how long i can survive. I am just hanging on to a string of hope that everything will be alright at the end of the day but as day passed, i dont see any improvement in the current situation. Its like a ship with loads keep piling up on board and i wonder how long more can the ship take before it snap and sink deep into the sea.

from today onwards, i shall be mindful of the words i say..

2006-05-25T11:27:00.000+08:00

this feeling of insecurities is killing me..

2006-05-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

The month of may was suppose to be the happiest month of the year but now things look like it cant get any worse than this or could it?School work wise, ptojects and assigments are piling up and i have not done anything about it.Relationship wise, a feeling of sweet, sour and bitter.

problems keep coming in, nothing has been solved..

2006-05-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

Last week was a fuck up week but i am just glad everything is fine now..or even better.
School is definately getting stressful as the due date for all projects are like coming soon one by one. Common test is the week after next and of course i am not abit prepared but who cares. I may study next week.
I am so damn looking forward to the trip oversea with you..just you. Although it is not somewhere far, i am still very looking forward but first..i need to save money..

2006-05-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

Am i fierce to u recently? if i am i apologise cause i dont mean it..i really dont cause my temper hasnt been good recently. I hate to see you like this when you are like damn upset. But i am always trying to make u feel better although most of the time it dinch work.
What i say to u just now, i mean it. I only feel so myself when i am with you. It is different when i am with other people and i stick to my words that i am only happy when you are, cause i share the pain and happiness u feel..

2006-05-14T00:40:00.001+08:00

I saw smth which i will never believe it..I thought my eyes were playing a joke on me but it look as real as i thought..i am indeed very disappointed.Dinch have fun huh? It looks otherwise to me..I am just FUCK GLAD u hAd fun. I wont blog anymore..Bye..

tell me it isnt real..

2006-05-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

bbQ AND i cant go, how unlucky can i get? everything will be over soon,so does all the big days. My birthday was not bad, countdown at geylang at some prata shop. ANyway, just hope u enjoy ur bbq later..

2006-05-11T10:49:00.000+08:00

Every night, i listen to ur cries over the phone.. every night i feel like giving up but i know i cant and will regret.. every night, i feel FUCK DAMN GUILTY although i dinch plan for this to happen.. So u feel that u are the only one deprive of everything huh? i dont feel deprive ? U ARE FUCK DAMN WRONG ALRIGHT?! Who can i complain and whin to? No one.. WHo is the one getting stuck in that place with nothing to do and mind only about you, You and YOU! Me.. Does my face tell you that i am enjoying this now? I just wanna bang the wall and die now that things just happen and i dont have any support i can lean on.. i going crazy..

just put all the pressure, all the stress and all the shit to me..

2006-05-09T16:19:00.000+08:00

things are looking more and more impossible now. I just cant find the problem that arises. I am feeling the worst and i dunno just what i have done to deserve this kind of treatment as if everything is my fault..

2006-05-08T22:11:00.001+08:00

it is getting harder and harder..and i really dunno what to do..

2006-05-07T21:36:00.000+08:00

this week is the worst week ever so far.. those heated argument, fingers pointing and the tears sum up the whole week. I didnt know i give u the impression that i no longer care about you and i am sorry.And i cant make u feel better when i am feeling as bad as u and these all doesnt help us in any way.
School is nevertheless boring and strenous. projects are starting and tutorials and lectures are a test of staminas. Turning 18 soon, this year will be special cause i have u celebrating with me and i am really glad. And 2 days after my birthday will be ur birthday,how nice..mine fall on versak day and urs on mothers' day.

It really breaks my heart to see u cry like that..

2006-05-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

I am so DEAD..

2006-04-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

I thought i will be strong, i thought it is just another visit to see him for the what may be the final time but what greeted me was a lifeless body lying on the hospital bed. I called him and he opened his lifeless puplish eyes so devoid of a thing call 'life', death is indeed catching up with him. I broke down when he looked at me with his tearful eyes. So many things happen today..

no mood..

2006-04-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

18 years of my life, my dad always the breadwinner in the family.. but now, things are starting to change.. now he has become jobless, i must save money in every way i can..

2006-04-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

i feel so dead without u..

2006-04-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

i woke up today at 1030am and i realise today will be the last time i open my eyes to the 10+ morning light shinning through my window becuase for the next 'not very few' weeks, i will have to get my arse up in the wee hour of the morning for the journey to my 'prison'.
sunday morning is not exactly the day i look forward to simply cause for one good reason, i just dislike sunday and i woke up today, on my laptop and start gaming like today will be the last day i can have some entertainment(like real) and after that, i decided to keep myself busy by packing my desk and wardrobe clearing tonnes of unwanted stuffs like last semester lectures notes and those under-size shirt that i will call it a tight fit if i ever wear it again.
and i think i must go bathe and get changed now and head to cross talk to pick the princess up from work or i'll get grind by her..again..nah ..just jokin huh.. till then.. take care to those reading this and wish me luck for the many weeks to come..

2006-04-21T09:50:00.000+08:00

no one understand me now.. not anymore..
my problems, i'll sort it out myself then since it is making us unhappy.

numb..

2006-04-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

frustration.. i thought u two should understand me and just let me do what i like but no. Sometime, i just wanna tell u just let me be. I'll be much happier this way.

2006-04-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

5 more days, Ngee Ann poly will welcome me back with open arms. And these are the 5 modules i'll have to take next semester.

Accounting application and analysis
Enterprise creation and development
Financial Management
Financial Markets and services
International Economics and Finance

Like wth, they know me but i dunno them and forever dont want to know them. Finance??Accounting?? Oh well, how interesting.I am only interested in my own financial state but the market?? does it concern me.. ok.enough of the whinning.5 days of complete freedom left for me before i get my arse in the classrooms and lecture halls listening to the preaching of the lectures and projects will start pouring in to me. I so gonna hate this semester..i know it..

Things to do when school starts

wake up at 640 everyday and get squeezed and cornered in buses.
attend lectures and tutorial.
projects, presentation and...projectss

again..i'm so gonna hate this..

pls, pls, pls just stay with me no matter how hard it gets..

2006-04-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

somehow the weather just reflects my mood these days.
If anyone reading my blog thought i have gotten myself into some sort of depression state , pls FUCK off pricks cause i am as good as can be.. just that things dun work out sometime..

2006-04-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

its been 3 months and it is still going strong.. and i think you are the best thing that happen to me..
I dunno what happen to me and i think i am driving myself crazy that it simply just hurts to imagine this and that. FUCK, i am going to bed..

sorry for being a dork..

2006-04-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

it is unbelievable, the things we quarrelled over. This time round, i really am at a loss of what to say about this. it just sound stupid . i mean come on la, its been almost 3 months, i thought u know how i feel but u still dont get it at all.
things are not as good as i want it to be recently.. parents getting unhappy with me, grandpa in critical condition , little and big fights here and there and the mean things friends can say to me. did i do anything seriously wrong to deserve everything that i am getting now?School, barely 2 weeks away and i have not have enough fun during the holiday. 2nd year poly will of course be busier than 1st year but i just hope everything works out fine when the time comes. i need 48hours a day to do the things i want to do..

reaching 3 months and pls dont let it end...

2006-04-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

he may not be a good husband, neither is he a good father, but he definetly is my dearest grandpa.. pls dont take him away so fast..

2006-04-08T23:53:00.000+08:00

i hate this feeling when i cant sleep although i feel sleepy.. and the sleeping pills..my mum hide it somewhere on purpose so i wont pop a pill or two every other night cause she say it is addictive.. like whatever..
and, tonight's a saturday night.. the weather today ruin everything for us and now we are both seriously DEPRIVED.. this is bad..bad bad bad. next week, against all odds, we go no matter what. ok, i'll end here now cause this time round, i think i am really sleepy..

2006-04-06T16:46:00.000+08:00

PARENTS..they are a nuisance sometime. they know basically nothing about their child except nagging at them which i call 'brainwashing' us.
here i am, stuck in a place call home. outside, it pours like nobody business. and boring me decide to blog about nothing.
oh yeah, i enrolled my IS course this morning. Health and lifestyle management.. every thurs 1pm-5pm.. wanted the morning time slot but it was full..
i think i'm seriously bored now, i think i'll just eat chips and get myself entertained with some afternoon teevee program..

rain rain go away, come again another day...

2006-04-01T20:47:00.000+08:00

Are u happier with me or with ur band?
With me, life is much more simpler compared to what u have in the past when u and ur band do crazy thing, performing here and there..nobody to stop u from wearing what u like, no one to stop you from getting a mohawk or a tatoo..
U will definately be happier if u have both ... i know.

2006-03-31T05:53:00.000+08:00

blogging at 6am in the morning is not what i normally do unless as u can see now, i am suffering from some insomnia. I couldnt even tell if i slept at all last night, cos if i did.. i propably had dreams the whole damn fuckin night cause i realise i had been thinking about lots of things the whole night through. it is the same old damn thing that bothers me everynight recently..
I know i shouldnt be thinking this way.. i must not think this way but i know i am definately not one of the coolest people u ever met and i know i am so different from the peeps you used to hang out with. i am what u called, ahhai. and u know what it means. Yes, ur opinion of me matters alot to me although i bet u dinch realise how much it affect me, this word...
nvm about all that, just did to do some whinning so that i can take some load off my mind and try to sleep now or i'll just game through the whole morning with some losers who had nothing better to do but to wake up at 6am in the morning and game..

if ever u need me to change to be compatible to u, just tell me..i will be happy and willing to do so...cos u mean alot to me..

2006-03-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

The first photo of u in MI school uniform..
U in school uniform really turns me on..so nice..haha..o_O

2006-03-27T13:44:00.000+08:00

Here is what i do when u are at school..

Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game, Eat, sleep, game..

It shows how bored i really am.

2006-03-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

today's post is gonna be a random one. Basically cos i have nothing much to do now, and while waiting for the soccer match to start, which is like almost 2 hrs later, i decided to pen down some poetry of mine..
Its been 2 months and 12 days and i think we have been through alot. Its been a dramatic 2months plus with tears of joy and heart break. I still remember there was this period when we had argument everyday.YES..everyday.. and it was hard then but i am glad u didnt give up on me neither did i give up on you.But no matter what, you are definetly the one i WANT so much to spend the rest of my life with..
i am so proud of u. Not just because ur cs has improve cos of my guildance, not because u listen to my advices everytime u hAve problems but because i think u r the most wonderful human being on this planet.

2006-03-26T00:48:00.000+08:00

fuck gross. The sea bed today at palawan was like damn fucking GROSS to the max. just imagaine, jelly-like feeling beneath ur feet. ANyway, today beach outing , one i'll never forget .. ok..i am tired and i need my bed.. bed..as if i have one..

2006-03-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

Nothing i feel now can be put to words.
I guess u r just too good for me. Too good.
Things are not well for me. My consciences are now fighting a world war 3 inside my mind. I should have stop u from giving up so many thing. U can be a rockstar if u want to.. I guess now, everything is too late.

2006-03-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

whattttt theeeee helllllll .
You must be the first i see to have so many weird medical symptoms. allergy to almost everything under the sun and some other shiat that i am starting to know of. Think i have pretty much no choice. I am gonna go china and find a powerful prist or monk to rid u all of ur sickness with 'qigong' or whatever 'gong' there is.
so..2 days of MC and its a jackpot for u.. enjoy the 2 days cos after this 2 days, MI welcomes u back with open arms.

2006-03-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

First day of school and u already start whinning to me..saying how MI is like a prison,how you almost got suspended on the first day and how the canteen food sucks but i know u can adapt to MI life very soon..I hope.
Anyway, chilling around town today and its been like ages since i last sat foot on town. Was so very happy that there is hope of me getting a new job but when i been to that place, cant make it . Aunties workplace and i bet i wont even fit in well with them..generation gap..
I need a job with so very fuckin good pay or at least i need money input. Not that i am very poor now but i need more and more and more...

and more..

2006-03-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

I think i must be an idiot, to forget something so impt and to forget on that particular moment is almost unexplainable. Sometime thing just happen and i have to accept that my brain works in a funny way. Good night.

2006-03-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

The first day of my first job of the holiday ended with a sale. 25 buck commission . But it was dead tiring having to repeat the sentence over and over again. And i really lost count of the number of people i called up.
"Hi, good afternoon, this is blah blah BLAH ... Ok,thank u and have a nice day"
Fuck off pricks...

2006-03-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

Part 2 of ECP picnic trip was HOT..real hot.. Pitch a tent somewhere around ECP and it was like 2-3pm in the afternoon, so u can guess how hot it is, almost like a sauna. CHips, cookie and sea-weed was bought but only the seaweed was eaten. The rest was basically..UNTOUCHED. WE engage in some shootin and nading again at marina and this time round. I was the winner like always. Any better opponent next time round?Haha. By 730pm, our arses were at 'sperm-net' as usual and we headed home when the night is still so young. Thats bout all for today.the next espisode hopefully will be much more interesting..till then..cya..

..to be continued..

2006-03-15T23:23:00.000+08:00

DUe to popular demand, my blog is back. Miss Leow Jin Jan, blog's back..Happy right?
Anyway, to celebrate the revival of my blog, anyone reading this is gonna get a full year subscription to every entry in this blog. YEsterday 14 march 2006 marks me and jan's second anniversary. Watched a fuckin hilarous and sadistic show, "Date Movie". The Movie was alright, u can either hate it or like it,cos some parts are like damn corny and i cant stand corny jokes. But before the movie starts, we got busy with some shooting and nading at a lan shop to release our fury and anger in a game of cs and as usual, my dear got thrashed by me.. haha..x) We headed on to ECP after "date movie" on the intention of some bike riding but because our empty stomachs are calling for some food intake, we eat there instead. After dinner, we chilled by the beach with a mat which i would say was pretty romantic. Things just happen after that which made us unhappy but alien and martian recovered from it like always.. I shall not elaborate too much on that. ANyway, good time dont last and soon, we must return to kallang and jurong respectively. On the way home, i saw Atib, the big shot in my neighbourhood and we headed home together. that guy got himself a place in ITE and he is damn proud of it. Saw a lifeless man dying at the bus-stop with almost nothing valuable so we gave up the idea of robbing him. Either he is drunk or he simply feel more comfortable sleeping at the bus-stop than his house. Reached home at 1205am. what a day...